I make a date for golf

You can bet you life it rains

I try to give a party

And the guy upstairs complains

I guess I'll go thru life

Just catchin' colds and missin' trains

Ev'rything happens to me

I never miss a thing

I've had measles and the mumps

And ev'ry time I play my ace

My partner always trumps

I guess I'm just a fool

Who never looks before he jumps

Ev'rything happens to me

At first my heart tho't

You could break this jinx for me

That love would turn the trick

To end despair

But now I just can't fool

This head that thinks for me

I've mortgaged all my castles in the air

I've telegraphed and called

I sent air mail special too

You answer was goodbye

And there was even postage due

I fell in love just once

And then it had to be with you

Ev'rything happens to me

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