03' Adolescence (Explicit) - J. Cole

I grew up, a f**kin' screw up

Tie my shoe up,

Wish they was newer

Damn, need somethin' newer

In love with the baddest girl in the city,

I wish I knew her

I wish I won't so shy,

I wish I was a bit more fly

I wish that I, could tell her

How I really feel inside

That I'm the perfect ni**a for her,

But then maybe that's a lie

She like a certain type of ni**a,

And it's clear I'm not that guy

Ball player, star player,

I'm just watchin' from the side

On the bench,

Cause my lack of confidence won't let me fly

I ain't grow up with my father,

I ain't thinkin' bout that now

Fast forward four years or

So from now I'll probably cry

When I realize what I missed,

But as of now my eyes are dry

Cause I'm tryna stay alive,

In the city where too many niggas die

Dreamin' quiet tryna dodge a suit and tie

Who am I? Aye who am I (Yeah)

Things change, rearrange and so do I

It ain't always for the better dawg I can't lie

I get high cause the lows can be so cold

I might bend a little bit but I don't fold

One time for my mind and two for yours

I got food for your

Thoughts to sooth your soul

If you see my tears fall just let me be

Move along, nothing to see

I always did sh*t the hard way,

My niggas slangin' in the hallway

Burnt CD's and trees like this was broadway,

Times Square

Kept the dimes there in the locker

Some Reggie Miller

With more brown hairs than Chewbacca

Whispers that he got it for the low low

Sell a, dime for a dub,

Them white boys ain't know no better

Besides,

What's twenty dollars to a ni**a like that?

He tell his pops he need some lunch

And he gon' get it right back

I peep game

Got home snatched my mama keychain,

Took her whip

The appeal, too ill to refrain

I hit the boulevard pull up

To my ni**a front door

His mama at home,

She still let em' hit the blunt though

I told her hello

And sat with my ni**a and laughed

And talked about

How we gon' smash all the b**ches in class

I complimented

How I see him out here getting his cash,

And just asked

"What a ni**a gotta do to get that? Put me on"

He just laughed when he seen I was sure

17 years breathing his demeanor said more

He told me,

"Ni**a you know how you sound right now?

If you wasn't my mans,

I would think that you a clown right now

Listen, you everything I wanna be

That's why I f**ks with you

So how you looking up to me,

When I look up to you

You bout to go get a degree,

I'ma be stuck with two choices

Either graduate to weight

Or selling number two

For what? A hundred bucks or two a week?

Do you think that you would know

What to do if you was me?

I got, four brothers,

One mother that don't love us

If they ain't never want us

Why the f**k they never wore rubbers?"

I felt ashamed to have ever complained

About my lack of gear

And thought about how far we done came

From trailer park to a front yard

With trees in the sky

Thank you mama dry your eyes,

There ain't no reason to cry

You made a genius and I,

Ain't gon' take it for granted

I ain't gon' settle for lesser,

I ain't gon' take what they handed

Nah I'm gon' take what they owe me

And show you that I can fly

And show ol' girl what she missing

The illest ni**a alive

Aye who am I?

Things change, rearrange and so do I

It ain't always for the better dawg I can't lie

I get high cause the lows can be so cold

I might bend a little bit but I don't fold

One time for my mind and two for yours

I got food for your thoughts to sooth your soul

If you see my tears fall just let me be

Move along, nothing to see

I never felt better